I love the relationship being away from home has produced for my mom and me, because my mom just asked me "What's up?" on instant messenger.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Looking back at 2008 it has been a year of changes for me, and good ones in my opinion. I finally, "left" home. I worked at camp this summer and had a great experience there. Also moving to Boone to attend school there in August. I've really enjoyed living in Boone, and I had a great first semester grade-wise. Along with this I feel like some friendships from my past were mended. Also because of living three hours away my time with friends in the Raleigh area is more precious and those friendships have strengthened. Also I've made an amazing friend in Boone, who saves my sanity from having no friends and not a lot to do other than homework.

I'm excited for Christmas and spending some time with my family in Pennsylvania, and who knows what to expect in 2009. Two more school semesters and I have no idea what I'll be doing this summer for a job, but that will come.

Thanks to Alexis, Jessie, Lora, my family, Adam, and everyone who has helped me transition through camp and school and helped me have a fun year.
I wish the best for you in 2009 and seriously wonderful Christmas.

HAY



( CUTENESS RIGHT HERE! )

I got that!

Also
www.myspace.com/talentedshow

Check out my flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/mountainskye/

that freaking name on there, mountainskye is such a mom screen name.

Also check out this audio/visual thing expressing how much I want an autoharp right now:

This past weekend was really good for me.
I feel good about not acting like a middle schooler about some stuff.
It's weird how one day you can feel like, "yes, I'm supposed to be here, this is good." And then if no one talks to you the next you're like, "oh gosh I'm so lonely, can I do this?"
Oh well, that's why it's important to look at the big picture.

I need to tell you all about this crazy story.
My mother keeps a blog on the internet, it's, http://thewhisperspace.blogspot.com/ and she also walks around Lake Pine every morning. In walking around the lake every morning she sees the same people a lot and sort of gets to know their faces, and sometimes their names. Recently she has been walking around the lake and stopped to talk to a couple she sees often and they told her that one of the regulars had killed himself. My mom remembered this guy with his mastiff dog and cup of coffee in the mornings. So someone who knew him put up fliers at the Lake and invited everyone to come to this new mexican place in Apex today, Saturday, to give a toast. My mom made a blog entry about it, and someone from New York found his name in her post and left a really cool comment. Which is the first of weird instances.
Then later during the week my mom was working at Hallmark and a guy came in asking around for a guestbook. He said that he was putting together an event for...and said this man's name, Patrick, and my mom said it with him. He is the person who put up the fliers and he was in Hallmark to find a guestbook for the Toast that's happening today.
So these two weird instances are enough to make me want to go to the toast, but this morning my mom said that Patrick's brother had e-mailed her asking her to say some things about Patrick because he wasn't going to be able to make it to the toast. I guess he found her blog and e-mail from there? I don't know, but again that's freaking weird.
Anyways, my mom didn't want to speak because she wouldn't be able to, (I assume she would be crying, I know I would). But it's just crazy how that's all come together. I guess that's small town Apex for you and the big world internet too. I'm sad that this guy has passed, but it alone has shown me such a great sense of community and some love that's left in this world.

Spring is very seriously around the corner. Along with it comes a loss of an hour of sleep and the ominously approaching no-jacket weather. I always hate feeling so naked with just a t-shirt on when the season first appears. Oh well, I am looking forward to late summer nights and hopefully some very needed North Carolina thunderstorms. Also a spring plus is spring break! What am I doing for spring break, you may ask? Well, the answer is nothing. Working, sleeping in. Perhaps I'll take a day off of work and ride my bike all day and have some alone-time adventures, who knows. Anyhow, life for me is weird as always. Weird situations with friends. But honestly I have such good people in my life right now and change is also approaching quickly. Quite honestly I'm pretty afraid, but it has to happen so I'm learning to accept it as it comes. I may work at a camp that's about five hours away all summer and then in the fall I'm off to Boone. I can't imagine not living in this very house because it is all I've known. I will miss my large bedroom, puppy dog, and most of all my Mother. The thought of not being around to hang out with my friends or take a Sunday afternoon trip to Target with my mom I get pretty teary-eyed. I'll get over it though, and visit regularly I suppose. The trade off is I will not longer be attending Wake Technical Community College and hopefully I'll meet some cool people and figure out what to do with my life. I guess those things are important.

Anyhow, just to let you all know, there are little pink sequence all over my bedroom right now thanks to a certain lady in a certain pink dress. Also this is my new shower curtain:


Hello Paris! Hello Kitty!

Being busy is not enjoyable.
I miss having time to think.

Washing the dishes it sort of fun to do.
I had a pretty good birthday, thanks for making it that way.

Ugh, I wanted to post a picture but I have not taken one picture on my digital camera this whole year.
That's awful.

Play me a song.
Let me sing along.

I so wish life was simple.


Next year I'm going to Appalachian State.

Today I met the sweetest little human being ever. It really lifted my spirits. She was about 6 and had long brown hair and a wonderful pink headband. Added bonus, she had a Hello Kitty backpack. Anyhow, she came up to me and said "hey" and told me that I looked like her Aunt. Then the conversation went on to tell me that she was born in Israel and her mother was from there and her dad somewhere else. She told me her mom and brother's name and hers and told me what they meant in Hebrew. She said she celebrated Hanukkah instead of Christmas and that when she turns seven she gets to go to Israel. Anyways, as a story retold it doesn't seem like anything special, but I'm telling you, she was a blessing.

    I think what's amazing to me about children is their ability to love just about everyone they come in contact with. I know that this can be dangerous, but it's so wonderful too. That girl talked to me for about five minutes and decided we should be friends. I know that real life or adult life is much more jaded and for good reasons, but I think it's important to remember the innocence and optimistic view of a child.

Lame mushy writing I know, so here's a picture:

I can't let myself forget that other people exist.

Sometimes life just seems to be incredibly complicated and tiresome.
Should I feel guilty for the way I feel? Should I feel so alone on certain issues?
I just have to keep sighing, taking each day as it comes.

I want so badly to have things together, but life is messy and I'm trying to live with the mess.

justt facit: bobby why do you hate me
justt facit: :(
WeListenEveryday: I doesn't hate u


justt facit: yes
WeListenEveryday: no
justt facit: why does andy talk to me
WeListenEveryday: idk
WeListenEveryday: why does he talk to anybody
justt facit: i don't know
justt facit: because his idea of how people percieve him and how most people actually do percieve him is awfully skewed
justt facit: kiss me